Making time stand still

This morning I woke up "extra early" (like 6) to work on my Relief Society lesson. 

At 7 I was pretty much finished and Oliver was still sleeping so I took the opportunity to lay down for a minute. 

And then I heard his sweet little voice and his little self wrestling in his crib. I went into his room and picked him up. He laid his head on my shoulder as I carried him into my room and put him on my bed. He was yawning and still waking up. 

We laid there for a few minutes while I showed him old photos on my phone. He laughed at some of the funny ones of himself. 

After a few minutes I asked him if he wanted to have cereal for breakfast with me and he looked at me and said, "want Lucky Charms" and then smiled really big, knowing that we are fresh out of his favorite cereal. (I usually try to be fresh out of the sugar cereals because I love them too much). And then I started tickling him and he laughed and laughed and laughed. His voice still raspy from sleep.

He squirmed all around my bed trying to escape the relentless tickle monster and then he fell into my arms for a giant hug. 

For what I think was the first time in my mothering experience I thought, don't leave me, as if he was going off to college tomorrow. 

Stay here forever. 

Don't grow up and become independent (which independent he already thinks he is). 

And then I had a moment of self discovery. 

I am a pretty independent person. I like my alone time. I like to work on "important things". I like to have projects and to sharpen my talents. And for the first time I thought all of those "important things" don't hold a candle to being here with my sweet boy while he doesn't feel too old or grown up to let me tickle him and to fall into my arms for a big hug.

And for the first time as a mom I thought, I wish I could just make time stand still. This is rare for me because I love watching Oliver grow up and discover new things and learn and experience all of the fun things that boyhood has to offer. But this morning I wished more than anything that he would never change.

When he gets bigger 1. His shorts won't have the elastic waste bands nor will his waste and head circumference be similar in size 2. He probably wouldn't let us put his shorts on his head even if they were

When he gets bigger it won't be near as cute when he puts his chin in his hands......

....but when he gets bigger, I'm assuming his stink faces will get even better!!