A Tribute to Breastfeeding

Well friends the breastfeeding days for little Oliver have come to an end and I surprisingly have mixed feelings about it. Motherhood in general has been a very difficult, exciting, and unpredictable transition, but breastfeeding is in a category all of it's own. What is it about breastfeeding??? It's so emotionally charged and there is so much social pressure and physical discomfort involved. There are so many women that for whatever the reason (milk production, latch issues, mastitis, breast infections.......) can't or don't breastfeed and I feel like there is this dark cloud that lurks over them. Guilt. Frustration. Failure. Even those who make it for a few months, who give it their all and decide it is time to be done are sometimes haunted by this cloud. I guess we all want what is best for our babies. And apparently that breast milk is best. But you know what? I think there are a lot more important things that matter even more. Hugs, kisses, singing, holding, attention, playing.....those things are what really matter. So, while the breast may be "best", there are a lot of other "best" things too.

In December my sister had decided that the two of us just must take a girls trip to New York in the Spring. Newsies was opening on Broadway and how could we miss that? In my head I remember thinking "well that will be a perfect excuse to wean Oliver and end this nursing business". You see when I was pregnant the thought of breastfeeding totally freaked me out. It did not seem natural and even seemed kind of weird to me. But I vowed that I would give it an honest go and see what would happen. And then Oliver was born slightly tongue tied creating latch issues. And so I tried the dumb nipple shield and I hated it. I was still determined to get that breast milk into my baby's tummy (and save money on nasty formula). So, I pumped. That's right...I pumped. Where I went the pump went. I would wake up to pump and then feed Oliver. Exhausting? yep! Lot's of unnecessary work? yep! And after almost four months of pumping,  I was kind of over it. I thought we should just try this again. (I was so tired of feeling like a cow being milked by a machine.) And....it worked!! He latched and it worked. And then much to my surprise, I didn't mind breastfeeding. It was easy. It was fast. It was actually pretty convenient. And it wasn't weird. It was sweet. I was feeding my baby. My body was so smart. It knew exactly what to do. And then March came and I realized that I had to start to wean. It was surprisingly sad. But good at the same time. And by the time April 11th rolled around and I was ready to board the plane to New York, I was done.

I would say that I feel free, but that would be a lie. I still have a baby :) But, there is a time and a place for everything and the nursing ship has sailed for Me and Oliver. And as disgusting as formula smells, he seems to love it and it's just a matter of a few months before he gets the good stuff. As for me, I am pretty happy to not be sporting over sized D bras or looking like I am seeking unwanted attention! So long breastfeeding....I'm sure we'll meet again!