Balance

I find myself thinking a lot about parenting these days. It makes sense since it's pretty much what I do  all day everyday. I've been struggling with a few different things, and lets be honest, I'm over my head with parenting in general most of the time. But lately I've been at a loss for how to balance it all. How to balance three very different children at three very different ages. How to balance entertaining my kids vs. letting them entertain themselves. How to balance letting them be weird and silly and kids vs. teaching them appropriateness, manners, and awareness. How to balance being their teacher and parent vs. being their safe haven and biggest fan and advocate. And how to balance play hard vs. work hard. I feel like all of these traits are super important, but how to get them all in with any sort of intention really blows my mind and then comes the mom guilt. I sincerely didn't really feel mom guilt until I had Molly and ever since it's hit hard with full force. There are so many demands on my time and energy and where I am lacking stands out far more to me than any sort of success I may be having (which is so dumb). And the bummer about it is that I don't think there is an answer. I don't think there is a book that will give me all the answers or a guru that can really make it easier for me. But, I have recently come to the conclusion that working hard is good for the soul. A little sacrifice is motivating. And not giving up, being consistent, working at it every day will deliver some sort of result. Hopefully a good one. So with the new year upon us, I am going to do my best to find the right balance for me. To not over think, but at the same time pay attention. And hopefully, I will be able to feel a little more success than failure in the mom department.

Saturday Oliver woke up and said that his tummy didn't feel well. After eating some toast and a bowl of oatmeal, he threw up all over the tile floor (you have not idea how happy I am that he didn't throw up on the carpet or couch). I was in the kitchen when it happened and came running to his side. The poor poor boy. Meanwhile Molly started crawling right towards the throw up and Peter decided he needed something off the table which is right by where Oliver was standing and I almost lost my brains. It was like something out of a terrible comedy. I kept telling everyone repeatedly to just "stay where you are". As if that ever meant anything to a child.....(which feels like a total mom fail, why won't they just listen??!!?). Anyway, I scooped up Molly and stuck her in a bouncer. Then scooped up Oliver and stuck him in the tub and then made Peter stay on the carpet while I proceeded to clean up throw-up. Remember how I said Molly's spit up made me want to cry? I spoke too soon. SO GROSS!!! I love this quote by Marjorie Hinckley, "The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh, crying gives me a headache." And so, I laugh! Motherhood is full of all sorts of moments where you really have to choose to laugh or cry and so I am going to do my very best to laugh. 

Balance and laughter...bring it on 2017!!!

Peter and I went to the Children's Museum on Wednesday. He wanted a picture in each of the cars...

This is his mean racing face.

Look at his happy little self.

Back to mean racing face.

They got these super awesome new rollie chairs. Peter loved it!

And Molly was just the sweetest in her carseat the whole time.

Friday I decided to take lunch to Oliver since Tim was home and I could leave the other two kids with him. It was fun to see Oliver in his own little environment. He's a pretty sweet boy. 

Peter is still obsessed with Molly and loves her a little too hard most of the time.

The weather in Phoenix has been PERFECTION!! The kids and I hung outside after school one day last week. Peter is telling Molly to look at the camera. 

And then he smooched her. 

As much stress and frustration these three cause me, they bring me more joy than I could have ever imagined. They have helped me grow and stretch and learn so much about myself. They are and will forever be my life's greatest work and accomplishment. They are the biggest blessing in my life. I still can't believe that my Heavenly Father entrusted me with them. I love them with all that I am and will do my very best and work my very hardest and pray more than I ever have and cross my fingers and trust that it will all work out.