Falling in Love with Oliver

I have a confession to make. When Oliver was born I was a little disappointed. For pretty much my entire life I heard mothers talk about how when they held their baby for the first time they were in love, instantly. Like there was this immediate obsession. And I really hate talking about it, because apparently there was something wrong with me, because when they handed me Oliver I was in shock (he was 3 weeks early and I was anticipating him being late, so I was totally unprepared in a lot of ways), which was followed by the following thoughts Did he really just come out of me? What's going on with his head? I'm super tired? Why isn't he breastfeeding? The epidermal is starting the wear off.......

Be honest, wouldn't that freak you out just a little?

I mean, after that terrible bump went down he was adorable. But, did he like me? If he did he didn't really show it, waking me up multiple times a night for hours at a time and not breastfeeding well. It turns out I am the type of person that likes to be loved in return....weird right? And oh how my life had changed. This is my knew job? Forever? I'm not getting paid? It's 24/7? And then......one day......he smiled. Oh how my heart sang. Maybe he does love me? And then slowly but surely my heart was completely stollen by that little man. As time went on I fell in love with that little boy, more in love than I ever thought possible, and some days he even shows me that he loves me back!

The other morning I took Oliver swimming at my moms. It was just the two of us. And we had a blast putting water into buckets and pouring water out. Hopping around the steps like a bunny and practicing getting our faces and hair wet. I love trying to teach him little things that I know and I love even more when he unexpectedly regurgitates them. While we were swimming I had a moment. You know one of those profound, I better enjoy every minute of this moments? In a matter of just a few months, our little one on one fest is going to change. Another little person is going to show up. I won't lie, there is a part of me that is nervous, but then there is another part of me that thinks maybe this will be different because I've done it before? Regardless, I know that I will fall in love with that little baby just like I fell in love with Oliver and to get to love two little boys, well the thought makes my heart practically explode.