When I was younger I used to think about what it would be like to have my own family and how I would "plan" it all out. I was adamant that if I had anything to do with it I would space my kids two years apart. It just made sense to me (ya, to 10 year old me). But the idea really stayed with me.....until I actually became a mother. And now having more than one child has become this overwhelming task, let alone having one every two years. I mean I know that I want to have more than one child, but lets be honest, Oliver is 14 months and if you do the math to have my kids two years apart means the pregnancy train is a'knocking on my door. But wasn't I just pregnant like a second ago? Didn't I just stop breastfeeding? What's this whole women forget childbirth and that's why they have more business? I remember pushing for over 2 hours pretty well. And instead of getting easier like I thought he would, Oliver is actually much harder. I took my eye off him for one minute yesterday and he managed to get ahold of some dish soap and squeeze it all over the floor, he also may have ingested a little as evidence by the bubbles that formed around his drooling mouth. And then I think, I am going to do this again? I mean having a new born is hard enough with the sleepless nights and the neediness, but to have a newborn and a toddler? That seems nearly impossible. And being the planner that I am, I always feel the need to know when things are going to happen (as if I have ANY control at all)............are you exhausted yet?
So, this has been consuming my thoughts lately, this question of when to take the leap into having two. And then I remembered this really beautiful article that I read when Oliver was a new baby. There is something very inspiring and uplifting about it. I feel like she is describing me (minus the urgent care business, thank you Dr. Tim). And while I know having a second child will not make my life easier necessarily, I do know that it will be a huge blessing and will help me to become a better woman and a better mother. And I also know that it is such a privilege to bring one of those sweet little spirits into this world. So while I may not live up to my aspirations of having my children two years apart, I think I'll be able to handle having more than one, and maybe I'll learn how to control things a little less and let life happen a little more.
When you figure it out, share the secret! :) I'm glad my first 2 are close in age. That being said, the first year (having a newborn and a 2 year old) about gave me a nervous breakdown. Seriously. It was hard. The payoff started happening after about a year and now I think it's easier having 2 than 1. They entertain each other and tattle on each other (before soap ends up all over the floor when I'm out of the room). I've been told 3 years is much more manageable especially in the beginning. We'll see and then I'll give you my 2 cents. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is good insight. I'm always looking for others perspectives so that I feel plenty warned. I'll be anxious to hear how three years apart is and three children! I'm glad there are such wonderful people a few years ahead of me to show me how its done :)
DeleteI think I read that article before I had Pierce, and I just read it again. It definitely is more pertinent now ;) Thanks for posting the link, she put it SO well! Everything is so true and honest, love it!
ReplyDeleteSo, my vote is at least 7 kids for you!!!
Hahaha!! Yeah right :) I will if you will. I'm glad you liked the article. It makes me smile every time I read it.
DeleteSO WEIRD--When we were at lunch yesterday I actually thought about Oliver being 14 months and how my first 3 were each 2 years apart and how if you were going to have your next one 2 years from Oliver that you'd be getting pregnant soon. Maybe I'm crazy for having such a long, personal thought about you. Sorry if I'm creepy :). I loved that article you linked. It almost made me want to have more kids. NINE, can you seriously imagine NINE kids? There are pros and cons to having kids two or three years apart. I've done both and I can't say one is easier than the other. Kids are just hard. :)
ReplyDeleteNot creepy at all!! I CAN NOT imagine 9 kids, and I am beginning to realize that in my hopes that Oliver will get easier I am probably just kidding myself. You are right, kids are just hard! Maybe I'll go through the refiners fire and figure out how to do it with a smile on my face :)
DeleteWhen Hyrum and I got married, we decided to have our children close. He and his siblings are at most two years apart and he loved it. They enjoyed playing with one another and had many mutual friends which allowed for lots of multiple sibling involvement. I, on the other hand, had a three year gape with my siblings and it was kinda sad especially when we got to school. They were old enough that they did not want to play with a little kid with their friends. Also, when we were in school, due to our age gape, we were never really at the same school in exception of elementary. Right when I got to middle school, my brother went to high school. Right when I got to high school, he was a senior and did not want to hang out with his dorky freshman sister. So we had our kids close. With that being said, I love it. They play so well together and I think they make my life easier. I don't have to entertain them all the time, they can entertain one another. It is definitely challenging at times. I personally thought the jump from one to two was not too bad. The jump from two to three was even easier because the two older ones played with one another while I just had to take care of the baby. Three to four has been the hardest on me. The two older ones still play with one another but my third is not quite old enough to play with them all the time and wants me to entertain him. So I am still juggling things and trying to adjust to life with four. Sorry for my rambling! I am going to stop now!
ReplyDeleteHere's my 2 cents. 5 years is a big gap in some ways (that's the gap between my 1st and my 2nd) but boy did I love having that first one all to myself for 5 years. Honestly, it was pretty great. He got super easy to take anywhere and everywhere and he was an easy kid. I really didn't mind the big gap even though, that wasn't what I had planned on exactly. Between 2 and 3 there's only a 2 year gap. The pregnancy with my 3rd while the second one was 1 going on 2 just about did me in. I had that going on plus running a new kindergarten kid around - I thought I was losing my mind, I was totally exhausted. And the whole first year of Jordan's life is really a blur. I remember EVERYTHING about Holden. I remember most things about Brennan. I remember absolutely almost nothing about Jordan being a baby. All. A. Blur. However, Brennan and Jordan are super close and great friends now. And there was a period of time (a long one) where Holden thought of those two as so much younger than him, there wasn't much interaction. However, they are all 3 really close now that they are older. So what's my point? My point is don't stress. Whatever you end up doing will work out great for you! It won't matter if Oliver has a sibling in another year or in 4 years. Truly, it will be swell, I promise. :)
ReplyDeleteI love all of the input! It's great to hear everyone's experience. Thanks for sharing guys
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